Wicked Little High
by lilllasyster
Summary: When tragedy strikes and Bella is left broken, who would've thought that Edward - the cold uninviting vampire who couldn't seem to care less about her - would be the only one who could pick up the pieces and glue her back together?
1. Boring, bland and purple

**A/N : All this belongs to Stephenie Meyer, I'm just playing with her toys! **

**I know I already posted this chapter, but this is the beta'd version – only slightly different from the one previously posted – and I'll be posting the next chapter as soon as my beta has looked over it!**

**

* * *

**

**BELLA**

**

* * *

**

My room looked exactly as it always had: boring, bland, and purple. I hadn't been here in almost three years and the thought of this becoming my permanent residence from now on frightened me more than I'd thought it would. _How did I end up here?_ I slowly walked over to my neatly made bed and slung my bag on the floor next to it, longing endlessly to fall asleep and drift off into a world where the noises and nuisances of my current reality were nonexistent. I climbed up on the bed, cringing at the sound of the bedsprings creaking beneath me as I tried to make myself comfortable. It was much more difficult than I'd originally imagined, but after adjusting myself and pressing up against one of the flat pillows that rested at the head of my bed, I closed my eyes and drifted off into a light sleep.

The sweet bliss of slumber didn't last long, however, as it was abruptly interrupted by a high-pitched screech coming from the other side of my closed bedroom door. Before I could even muster up the strength to open my eyes to face the aggravating pest lingering in the hallway, he'd burst into my room and jumped up on my bed, sending the springs into yet another painful symphony of piercing squeaks. I pulled the pillow over my head, desperate to block out the undesired upcoming confrontation. He ripped the pillow harshly from my clinging grip and let out a girly giggle.

"Jackson," I mumbled, annoyance clearly coloring my hoarse voice, hoping the use of his full name would catch his attention, "I swear to god, if you don't get off me right now I'll tweeze every hair from that messy head of yours in a slow and, believe me, painful process, you little tweed!"

I cursed myself for having forgotten to pull the drapes shut, because as my little brother stood up and jumped off my bed, a rare ray of Forks sun shone through my window, making it impossible for me to even hope to catch another second of peaceful sleep. I sat up reluctantly and gave Jackson the most hate-riddled stare I could muster before grabbing him by the wrist and pulling him out the door, closing it firmly behind me. The pleasant sound of him running down the stairs lightened my mood somewhat and after a few calming breaths as I leaned my back against the closed door, I drew a final breath and walked out and into the neighboring bathroom.

I closed the door softly behind me, not wanting to attract any attention from the other two inhabitants of this bubble of joy that I now had to call home. I locked the door, feeling a satisfying waft of relief as I closed myself off from the outside world and stared at myself in the mirror, hoping that, if I wanted it enough, the world outside my bathroom door would transition back to the one I'd left behind a bare few hours ago back in Phoenix. This bathroom seemed like a 10th of the size of the one I'd had there – not only that, it had also been located in the sanctuary and safety of my own bedroom and I hadn't had to share it with other people, not to mention an old man who barely knew how to take care of himself and an ten year old boy with boundary issues.

I stared at myself in the mirror for a long time, running my pale hand through my thick brown hair, swirling the ends around my slim fingers. Slowly, I unclipped the black clips that were holding a few delicate strands of hair from shielding my dark eyes and placed them on the cold sink. I ran my hands across it, feeling the smooth cold surface brush against my fingers and it made me miss the hot soothing Phoenix breeze that would run through my bathroom window just as morning transitioned to afternoon. Everything was so cold here. And it was always dark. I hated the dark the most. The way it could consume you, choke you and cut off all clarity. That's why I'd loved Phoenix so much; the darkness there wasn't quite as dark as it was here.

After a warm, relaxing shower, I stumbled back to my chilly room, my feet dragging lazily behind me as I struggled to keep myself awake. The shower had left me oddly sleepy and I couldn't wait to snuggle into my favorite pair of sweatpants and my dad's oversized Old Navy sweater. In Phoenix it had always been too warm to wear that stuff and even though moving to Forks seemed like a significant downgrade, it did allow me to dress exactly as I wished: converse, jeans and a sweater. As little skin as possible was a rule I lived by and a dress-code which seemed to fit right in with the other Forks inhabitants.

I stood shivering by my unopened suitcase, the only thing shielding my body from the cold being the thin damp towel wrapped around it. I opened the suitcase slowly, careful to not let the towel drop and expose my naked body. After struggling with a certain amount of difficulty, I managed to extract my desired comfy clothes from the crammed suitcase and pulled the pants on. Figuring I could risk it, I let the towel drop to the floor and hurriedly pulled a tank top over my head to cover myself. I let out a deep sigh before spinning around on my heel and walking over to my room's only window. There had been a new house built right next to ours since I'd last been here and even though it looked just as tacky as ours, it still seemed more welcoming somehow. I sat myself down on the windowsill, leaning my cheek against the cold window.

I opened the window slowly, letting it swing open casually and the air immediately rushed in, engulfing me in the cold. I closed my eyes and, for the second time that day, made an honest attempt to lull myself to sleep, but, just like last time, I was brought back to reality when I heard a light cough coming from outside the window. More curious than annoyed, my eyes snapped open and I glanced out the window to find a boy staring at me, a cheeky smile playing on his thin lips. The first thought to cross my mind was how cute he was – unusually cute for such an insignificant speck like Forks. The second was that I'd just stripped right in front of him. _Great - first time he sees me and I perform a life-action strip show._

I swiftly grabbed the Old Navy sweater that lay crumpled up on my bed from the long plane ride and pulled it on, trying as hard as I could to erase his first glimpse of me, which would probably be burned into his memory forever. I was mortified. I walked back to the window, my cheeks pink with embarrassment, and seated myself so my legs were dangling out the window, facing the grinning boy who was casually leaning against the balcony railing. I smiled a shy smile as I tucked a stray brown strand of hair safely behind my ear and held on to the window frame for balance. I wanted to say something, but the words clogged up my throat, making it impossible for me to speak.

The boy just laughed, and, as he did, the tiniest dimples carved into his smooth cheeks and a soft crease emerged just above his slightly raised eyebrows. He was just so pretty. And tall. The way his sleek dark-blonde hair framed his slightly rounded jaw, his bright blue eyes, the way his lips curved up in a mischievous smile all worked together to make him almost completely irresistible. Not only was he stunningly handsome, if you can even ever call a boy that, but he was dressed in jeans that were neither too lose or too tight, green worn out converse and a shirt that perfectly draped over his not too toned arms and chest. I literally had to stop myself from letting my jaw drop.

"So," he started. His voice was infinitely more enticing than I'd imagined it would be. Dark, rusty, mysterious. "It's been a while, huh?"

Momentarily confused, I let out a small cough to clear my throat, preparing myself to speak, but the only sound that escaped my lips was a faint 'huh' and immediately after it had, I covered my face with my hands. I felt like such a girl. He just smiled.

"You don't remember me," he said simply. It was more a statement than a question, so I didn't really know how to respond. Had I met him before? Nothing about him seemed familiar, but admitting that would be social suicide, so I kept it to myself and threw an awkward smile his way. "Thought so."

"Huh?" My voice sounded much too clouded as I spoke. "I don't really…"

"That's ok," he said simply, jerking his head to the side to keep his blonde fringe from covering his eyes. "I tend to be very forgettable."

"No!" I burst out before I could control myself. I figured that nothing I could possibly say would be the right, so instead I waited for him to speak.

"Bella?"

I looked up instinctively, not used to people knowing not to call me Isabella. I hated when people called me that. The name didn't suit me one bit and, in a desperate attempt to separate myself from it, I had demanded that everybody call me Bella since I was 9. How did he know that? Who was he? Why did I not recognize him?

"You _are_ Bella, right?" he questioned, looking slightly unsure as he observed me. "I'm not going completely fucking insane, right?"

And then it clicked. "Jazz?"

He softly applauded my sudden grasp of who he was and nodded casually. "Congratulations."

"Jazz," I repeated softly as my tongue tasted the name that I hadn't said in over three years. "Jazz…"

Jasper walked over to the railing, sat down smoothly and slid his long, lean legs between the iron bars, looking at me through them as he swung his legs forward and back. I had a distinct feeling that he was doing this on purpose, just to jog my memory further, because suddenly my mind flooded with recollections of all those summers that we had spent together, him dangling his legs over the edge of the tree house we had built together at the edge of the forest, as I stood on the bottom, throwing pebbles at his feet. I had a sudden urge to throw something at him, just for old time's sake, but not knowing whether he'd appreciate the inside joke or not, I restrained myself.

"What happened to your old house?" I asked mechanically, honestly curious.

"Dad decided to upgrade," Jasper mumbled, stroking the metal bars with his hands.

"Not much of an upgrade," I joked as I threw him a crooked smile. He smiled back and I instantly felt comfortable in his presence, even though I had been a mere 14 years old the last time I saw him.

"I guess maybe he'd heard his best friend was moving back into town," he teased, no doubt knowing exactly how much I hated to be back here. I furrowed my brow, hoping he'd notice that his joke had gone extremely unappreciated.

"Ugh," I moaned, "don't remind me."

"What? Not excited to be back?" he said, shaping his features in an expression of fake curiosity. "But Forks is such an extremely exciting place!"

He laced his words with sarcasm and I couldn't help but enjoy the clear despise we both shared for this black hole, which we had both crudely been subjected to reside in. "How I stayed away, I don't know."

"Why are you back, anyway?" he questioned. "I thought you couldn't wait to get away from this hell-hole?"

We'd always called Forks our own personal hell-hole. Things hadn't changed much between me and Jasper. But even so, I was reluctant to burden him with the happenings of the past few weeks; my mother had broken to us just a few weeks ago that she was leaving my father and quickly ran away and got married to a wannabe soccer player…or football player. The small details slipped my focus as the memory of that night rushed through my mind.

"It's not you, it's me," she had pleaded, giving my innocent father that look that she knew he couldn't resist. "Stuff like this happens, Charlie. Feelings disappear."

My father had been broken ever since, barely looking me in the eye, most likely because I looked so much like her, like Renee. She had broken his heart, and our family, just so she could feel young and free again. The thought of how she had abandoned us left a sour taste in my mouth and I must have shown it in my expression, because as I looked up from my hands to face Jasper, he looked concerned.

"Don't wanna talk about it, huh?" he asked sympathetically, bringing one knee up to his chest and hugging it with his right arm. "That's cool. No worries, Bee."

He had always been good at handling my mood swings and in the heat of the moment I appreciated it so immensely that it almost made me want to jump the short distance from my window to his balcony and hug him. After a quick consideration of my clumsy nature, I decided to resist the urge. "If that's ok?"

"No sweat," he said casually. "Nothing like a little mystery to keep me up at night."

I smiled appreciatively before the sound of my father's voice made me turn around so quickly that I lost my grip on the window frame and fell backwards, landing in a pile of unwashed clothes on the floor, my legs pointing straight up and my arms shielding my head. The short-lived pain consumed me momentarily before embarrassment took over. I lay there for a few minutes, stewing in my own clumsiness, listening to the sound of Jasper's howling laughter, until I heard him call out a casual, 'it's good to have you back, Bee' and his balcony door creaking to a close.

"Bella?" my father called from the first floor, his tone hinting at slight irritation.

I struggled momentarily to untangle myself as I attempted to get out of my awkward position on the floor. After several tries I managed to free myself and reluctantly walked down the stairs to the TV room where Charlie and Jackson were watching some sort of sport on the TV. It had always amazed me how Charlie could just sit down and watch sports for hours on end, especially now that our whole house was in boxes and there wasn't even any food in the fridge to make a somewhat decent dinner of.

Letting out a deep sigh, I walked over to them and sat down in the spare chair, giving Charlie an expectant look. Realizing that he probably hadn't even heard me enter, I cleared my throat and spoke. "Dad?"

Charlie let out an indifferent grunt, before reaching down at the almost empty packet of chips that lay on one of the moving boxes, which he had apparently decided to use as both a footrest and a table. His eyes were glued on the TV where men in tight shiny pants and huge shoulder pads were running around throwing an oddly shaped ball to one another. Football. Charlie was obsessed with football, and if it wasn't football it was baseball or basketball or some other ridiculously energy-consuming sport that was more about fame, than actual enjoyment. Every night there was some sort of game that craved Charlie's consideration, but having decided early on that it wasn't worth my attention, I had never actually sat down and watched a game with him.

"Dad?"

"In a minute," he mumbled, stuffing a handful of chips into his mouth without tearing his eyes from the TV screen. It was so typical Charlie, setting up the TV before even considering unpacking or even just buying normal food so that Jackson and I wouldn't starve to death. Although Jackson probably didn't mind; he could survive on nothing but chips, coke and candy bars. I, on the other hand, had reluctantly been forced to live off the many packets of gum that had been stashed around our Phoenix home for the past few months. That is, if I couldn't muster up the strength to actually walk the 10 minutes to the supermarket, buy the ingredients and make dinner myself, which I often did. It was no wonder I was so skinny; gum and sparse meals wasn't exactly the recipe for a healthy lifestyle.

"Bella?" Charlie said, speaking more clearly now than before. _The game must be over._ I let out an exasperated sigh before turning to face him, trying to look as irritated as possible. He continued before I could respond. "I was thinking for dinner –"

"Oh, we're actually having dinner?" I interrupted, amazed at the possibility that Charlie might actually have thought about his children's well-being for once.

I had figured he'd detect the sarcasm in my voice, but he continued, completely indifferent to my childish teenage efforts to make him feel bad for forcing me down here whilst in the midst of my childhood reunion with Jasper. "The Hales invited us over. As a sort of welcome thing, I guess."

My heart skipped a beat. "Hales?"

"Yeah," Charlie said, picking up the now empty bag of chips and one of the many beer cans that stood parked on the floor at the edge of the couch. "You used to be friends with their kid – what's his name – Jasper. Remember him?"

Not wanting to look too intrigued, I pretended to mull it over, biting my lip and letting my gaze drift as if to hint at wonderment. "I think so…"

"He had that older sister," Charlie continued, "the one with the –"

"Yep! Got it!" I exclaimed, not wanting to divulge further into the adventures and misadventures of Rosalie Hale. I had heard plenty about her during the summers I had reluctantly spent here, in this very house. Whenever I went to Jasper's house, which happened rarely since we spent most of our time in our homemade tree house, there would always be something wrong with her, whether it was her promiscuous lifestyle, her irrational smoking habits or her nonexistent good grades. Even though she had only been a 15 year old girl at the time, the trouble she got into far exceeded her age and it had left Jasper in the shadows, ignored by his parents and unappreciated by everybody around him. _Until I came along_. He would always tell me that.

"You wanna come?" Charlie inquired, walking into the kitchen, pausing only momentarily to check that his gun was still in its holster. He'd made a habit of doing that every time he passed the hallway, probably just his instincts as a cop getting the best of him.

"Sure," I mumbled, mentally preparing myself for what was yet to come that evening. I said a silent prayer, hoping with all my heart that the next two years here would be bearable enough that I would get through them somewhat unscathed. It didn't seem all that likely, and I didn't believe it for a moment, but figuring that it was the only option I had, I decided to pull myself out of the gutter. I put on a wide smile and walked up the stairs to get dressed, desperately hoping that this time it would be out of eye-shot of my new neighbor. I pulled the curtains closed just to make sure.

-

I woke up the next morning with a start, the happenings of the preceding evening still clouding my mind as I lifted my heavy eyelids and took in the murky gloom that filled up my cramped bedroom. I rolled over in my bed, hugging the blanket closer to my body as I felt the cold prickling my exposed cheeks. The discomfort was almost unbearable, so I gave up trying to fall back asleep and instead picked up my iPod to check the time. _4:56_.

"Shit," I mumbled as I turned so I laid on my back, placing my thick and worn out iPod and classic on my stomach, inserting the cold earphones into my ears, prepared to disconnect myself from everything and everybody. The soothing sounds of Damien Rice filled me with serenity, letting me drift off in a state that wasn't quite unconsciousness, because I was still aware, but it was as close as I was going to get to proper sleep at this time in the morning. I tapped my fingers to the beat of his calming guitar and for a moment I felt completely detached from everything that was bothering me. Until the unwelcome harsh tunes of Metallica exploded through my earphones, ripping me from my state of contentment and allowing last night's events to fill my mind.

It had started out quite well, but once Rose arrived, drunk as a drunk and clinging on to a bulky teenager who looked like he was about to pass out, it made everybody extremely uncomfortable. Especially Charlie. Charlie had always despised Rose, specifically because of all the trouble she got into, and seeing her like this didn't really help. She stumbled into the dining room, slurred something inaudible before dragging the guy behind her as she wobbled into the kitchen. After hearing the piercing sound of a glass breaking and a quick exclamation of slurred swear words, Rose and her victim staggered back into the dining room where Rose proceeded to pass out on the floor, the big guy's only reaction being, 'Holy fuck! That bitch's out cold!'

Needless to say, the rest of the night was spent in an awkward silence, which was only momentarily broken by Mrs. Hale as she questioned whether or not her guests wanted dessert. Jackson remained completely oblivious to what was happening around him and even let out a small giggle as Rose lay passed out on the floor. I became instantly jealous of how untainted he was, wishing that I too could have seen the hilarity in the moment, but being the person I was, I was instead consumed with irritation. I risked a glance at Jasper to find him looking at me as well, the expression displayed on his face telling me that he was just as goaded as I was.

A cold Sunday breeze tore me from my recollections and I opened my eyes abruptly, ripping the earphones out of my ears and placing my iPod back on the box I was currently using as a nightstand. Jasper had promised to introduce me to his girlfriend today. Yes, girlfriend. He'd mentioned her yesterday at dinner. Apparently she was the daughter of Forks' top doctor and his wife, pretty much making her Forks' own little celebrity. He had promised that she wasn't anything like the bratty, pompous, spoiled brat I most likely thought she was, which I did, and had said that we could spend today down by the lake. It stung a little to know that that was 'their spot' now, especially since that had been the place where me and Jasper had shared our first kiss when we were 6. It had always been 'our spot'. _Not anymore._

So, I walked slightly reluctantly over to the Hales residence and stood outside her white-painted door before gathering up the courage to ring the doorbell. I heard a slightly muffled _pling_ coming from the other side of the door, and just as I was about to reconsider, thinking this whole thing was stupid, the door swung open and I was greeted by a girl I had never seen before.

Even though Jasper had told me she was beautiful, the image I'd had in my head last night was nothing compared to the stunning, though petite, girl standing in the doorway. She lifted her weight to her right leg, placing one hand on her smooth hip and giving me a delicate smile that told me she was anything but the bratty, pompous, spoiled brat I'd assumed her to be. Her hair was jet black and shaped in a casual yet classy page cut, her straight fringe hovering a bare centimeter above her big round dark brown eyes. The cut perfectly framed her face, accentuating her plump pink lips and her cute button nose. I instantly felt a stab of jealousy.

"You must be Bella," she said as she stretched her right hand out to me in a friendly gesture. "Jasper's told me so much about you!"

She was too cute to resist. "Yeah," I stammered, clumsily pulling my hand out of the comfort of my snug jacket and shaking hers. "Anna?"

"Alice," she corrected, stepping to one side as if to beckon me to enter, which I hurriedly did after quickly brushing my somewhat muddy converse against the brown welcome mat. Even though they'd moved house since I was last in Forks, the smell of the Hale's residence still remained the same and it instantly made me feel less out of place.

Alice hurriedly walked into the kitchen. Unsure whether or not I was supposed to follow her, I started unlacing my red converse slowly whilst looking around the room. After a minute of shameless time-wasting, Jasper stumbled into the hallway, a wide grin spreading across his thin lips.

"What are you doing, dude?" he asked, apparently enjoying my momentary lack of confidence.

I opened my mouth to speak, but figuring that I could say nothing to redeem myself, I just smiled and tugged the converse off my feet carelessly and flung them on the floor. Jasper let out a light chuckle before he motioned for me to follow him into the kitchen. We arrived to find Alice sitting cross-legged on the counter, arranging four strands of string into a complicated braid. Jasper let out a soft cough and her head immediately snapped up.

"So," she said, jumping down from the counter with incredible ease and walking over to the two of us. "Plans?"

"Lake," Jasper said matter-of-factly, walking over to the refrigerator and extracting an already opened can of beer. He jerked his shoulder at me, probably assuming that I'd disapprove of this casual maneuver, but I didn't care. Teenage drinking didn't bother me. Sure, I'd had my fair share of alcoholic episodes that didn't exactly end well and which had eventually led me to swear off drinking for the rest of my life, but that didn't mean I would stop others from doing it. People needed to make their own mistakes, and I wouldn't be caught being the uptight know-it-all I'd been known as back in Phoenix.

"Lake it is."

We spent the rest of the day by the lake. It wasn't exactly warm enough to swim, it being in the middle of January and all, so we ended up just sitting on the rocky shore, throwing pebbles at the smooth surface, reminiscing on past summers. I told them all about Phoenix, although cleverly editing out the part where my mother deserted us and instead sugarcoated the whole situation, simply saying that my parents 'grew apart'.

They told me how they met; Alice had moved here a few years back from Alaska with her parents, Esme and Carlisle, and of course Jasper had fallen head over heels for her immediately, probably just like every other guy at Forks High School. Apparently, it all began at some girl's birthday party, where they had spent all night catching each other's gaze across the room, bonding over music and sipping on cool drinks. It all sounded like a romanticized version of what most likely happened, which probably involved them getting drunk and hooking up. I decided not to mention it.

I came home that night thoroughly exhausted; days just seemed longer here. I quickly stripped myself of my jeans and casual long-sleeved sweater and snuggled into my comfy clothes, completely ready for a full night's sleep. But then, the thought of the following day consumed my thoughts, and my heart wouldn't stop its incessant beating. I was so nervous. Not only did it completely freak me out that I would be arriving at a new school with new people who probably wouldn't do anything but stare at me all day, but the bare thought of me having to actually make an effort and be social totally drained me.

Judging from what Jasper and Alice had said, tomorrow probably wouldn't be so bad, but I was always so nervous around people I didn't know. I figured I'd just hang around Alice and Jasper all day, although I didn't want to push my luck; being exposed to a grumpy and self-conscious me all day probably wouldn't put me in their good books. I popped my earphones into my ears and cranked up the volume on my iPod, looking for any way to escape this unwanted and uncomfortable reality that I had so unwillingly been thrust into. _Here we go. _


	2. The classics

**A/N : All this belongs to Stephenie Meyer, I'm just playing with her toys! **

**I'm so sorry for the wait! I had some complications regarding my beta – but luckily I found a new one and I'm up and running again! Hope you like this chapter =)**

**

* * *

**

**BELLA**

**

* * *

**

Everybody stared – _everybody_ – as I took my first steps on campus. It was worse than I'd previously imagined; the buildings were grey and single-floored, blending in easily with the murky clouds that hung over it like a blanket of misery, and not to mention littered with graffiti. Even though I'd passed the school so many times before, it seemed almost unrecognizable to me in this light as it beckoned me inward with sharp claws, eager to keep me in its confines. I already hated it.

Since Charlie hadn't been bothered, Jasper had given me a ride to school in his red, worn out and extremely noisy Chevrolet. I arrived at school after a considerably bumpy ride and immediately realized what kind of position Jasper held at this school. I had kind of wished that we wouldn't attract too much attention but that obviously wasn't even a remote possibility because as we walked through the crowd on the courtyard I could feel everybody's gaze on us. It was clear that it had more to do with the fact that I was walking next to Jasper than anything else.

A few students came up to us as we pushed our way through, some asking for homework advice, some eager to introduce themselves and others just throwing a casual greeting at Jasper. I felt incredibly insignificant walking next to him – like a mortal next to a god – so I kept my eyes firmly glued to my feet, not wanting to invite any form of social contact. Jasper put a comforting arm around my frail shoulders and I instantly felt safer; something about having him close to me made me feel a little less unstable, like I wasn't completely alone.

We didn't have that many classes together, though, so I had to spend most of the day lingering around the classrooms, either too scared to go inside or merely unsure whether or not I was actually in the right place. I made it through most of the day alright, not really paying attention in classes because I figured the teachers would let me get away with it. Besides, most of the courses I'd already taken in Phoenix.

I did share most of my classes with this one guy, Newton, who followed me around like a puppy dog, hanging on my every word like his life depended on it. At first I'd found it slightly endearing, but as the day crept on, his constant attention got under my skin. I wasn't used to this. In Phoenix I wasn't a somebody, and definitely not a somebody who deserved any form of recognition from anybody, so when Newton stuck to me like glue, it made me incredibly uncomfortable.

When I entered the bio class, my second to the last lesson of the day, I felt an incredible waft of relief when Mr. Banner informed me that I would be without a partner and would have to sit at my table alone. At least one hour without Netwon. _Score_. I crossed my arms across the table and rested my head in their comfort, letting my thoughts drift.

-

I got home that afternoon completely drained. Gym had been particularly bad; I didn't exactly have the best hand-eye-coordination and when the teacher had announced that we'd be spending the next hour playing basketball, I felt like faking an asthma attack just so I could get out of it. I stayed, reluctantly, and ended up standing awkwardly in the corner of the court, twisting my cold hands in a knot, trying to pass the time.

Since Forks didn't actually have anything other than a High School, Alice's mom, Esme, had offered to home school Jackson. According to her she had nothing better to do, something which didn't shock me that much; Forks wasn't the most action-packed place on the planet, in my opinion. So after I barged into the house, kicking my Converse off swiftly in the process and continued to the TV room where I threw myself on the couch, I wasn't all that surprised when Esme appeared in the doorway, a cute smile playing on her plump lips. She looked just like Alice except her hair was shaped in a classy 40's cut and her eyes were the most delicate shade of dark blue. She was exceptionally nice too, just like Alice.

"You must be Isabella," she said softly and even though it annoyed me, I didn't have the heart to correct her.

"Yep," I said casually, throwing her a faint smile.

"It's nice to finally meet you," she said as she walked over to me and stretched out a welcoming hand, which I shook eagerly. "Although I feel like I know you already; Jackson hasn't stopped talking about you all day."

"Oh really?" I mumbled, not too enthusiastic about the prospect of Jackson ranting about me to a somewhat stranger.

"Don't worry, honey," she said sweetly. "All good stuff, I promise."

I mulled that over as she left the room, returning a few minutes later with Jackson at her side, her bag hanging off her shoulder and with a polite smile on her face. She gave me a small wave before patting Jackson lovingly on the head and proceeding to the hallway. The moment she was out the door, Jackson skipped over to me and sat down excitedly on the floor, drumming a steady beat on the hardwood floor with his fingers. I furrowed my eyebrows at him. How could he be so hyper _all_ the time?

He had that goofy smile plastered on his face that he'd been famous for back in Phoenix and I couldn't help but smile back at him. "What's up with you?" I asked as I crossed my arms across my chest in a suspicious manner.

"Nothing," he said, that infectious smile breaking through even more now.

"What's wrong with you? Ah, forget it. I give up." I sighed, throwing my hands up in the air dramatically as I got up from my seat and walked into the kitchen.

That boy confused me to no end. It was so weird having him around all the time, too. In Phoenix we barely saw each other because I was always at school and Rene was always dragging him along to the many, _many_, errands she ran during the course of the day. To be honest I was a little jealous. It had always been me with Charlie and Jackson with Rene and now that Charlie could barely look at me anymore, I felt more alone than ever. Maybe Forks would bring a new start? For me and Jackson, I mean; I had kind of given up hope on Charlie and me ever being the same again.

-

After realizing that our refrigerator was in need of a serious restock, I decided to make my way over to Forks' only supermarket and buy some ingredients to make dinner for Jackson and me. It suddenly hit me, however, that I had no way of getting there besides walking, and that would most likely take 30 minutes. My first thought was to ask Jasper for a ride, but I didn't want to intrude. _Unless he wouldn't mind_, I thought to myself, biting my lip. I knew I would have to drag myself over there to ask him, but numerous unpleasant scenarios rushed through my head, and I instead settled on first checking whether or not he was out on his balcony like he usually was.

I rushed up the stairs, taking two at a time, and burst into my room. My drapes were still drawn shut, so I pulled them apart energetically and glanced out the window and across to his balcony. To my surprise, instead of Jasper, Alice was sitting on the balcony this time, listening to her iPod and pulling her nimble fingers through her short page. I hesitated momentarily, but my rumbling stomach begged me to reconsider, so I opened the window somewhat reluctantly and cleared my throat to try to get her attention.

She didn't hear me, so I proceeded by waving spectacularly in her direction. She didn't see me, so I yelled. "Alice!"

Her head instantly snapped up, a confused expression shaping her features, but as she recognized who it was a smile broke through the confusion. "Bella?"

"Yeah," I said, now feeling slightly awkward as I realized I would have to explain why I was out here in the first place. "I was just…gonna ask Jasper something."

She stood up from her sitting position and gently removed the buds from both ears. "What?"

I cleared my throat, deciding to approach this differently. "I was gonna ask Jasper if I could borrow his truck."

"His truck?" she asked as a somewhat disgusted expression crossed her face. "You're not serious. That old piece of trash? _Please_. I'll take you!"

A bit taken aback by her sudden offer I racked my brains for reasons not to, but found none, so I accepted the invitation. "To the supermarket?"

"Sure," she said casually, sliding her iPod into her tight jeans pocket and walking over to the glass balcony doors. "Meet me at the truck in 10, yeah?"

She gave me a small wave before disappearing through the glass doors, leaving me standing somewhat dumbstruck until I snapped out of it and ran down the stairs again. Suddenly I was panicking. Alice and I had never actually spent any time alone together and she hadn't been at school today so we didn't really have that much to talk about. I jammed my phone, keys and wallet into my worn out shoulder bag, deciding to leave my iPod just so it wouldn't tempt me, and started putting on my shoes.

Jackson appeared in the hallway and all of a sudden it struck me that I couldn't just leave him alone at home, especially since Charlie wouldn't be home for at least another four hours.

"Put your shoes on, Jack," I said as I pulled my jacket from the hanger and put it on. "We're going out."

He didn't even question it, just let out an over exaggerated yelp of glee and ran out the door barefoot. I let out a deep sigh as I scooped up his sneakers and a pair of socks. As I was locking the door, I could hear him running around the garden, and I couldn't help but smile. I would've given anything to be as careless as he was. I turned around to see him standing by the mailbox, leaning on it with an expectant expression on his face.

"We're going to the supermarket," I informed him. "Alice is taking us."

I hadn't thought it possible, but the smile on his face grew wider. He made it seem like going to Forks' supermarket was equally as exciting as battling dragons or racing cars or whatever boys his age do for fun. I grabbed hold of his wrist and pulled him towards Jasper's truck which stood parked, somewhat crookedly, in the Hales' driveway. Alice was leaning against it and just as I was about to climb in, she walked away from the truck and over to a silver Volvo which stood parked by the curb. I stopped dead in my tracks before following her, slightly confused by the sudden turn of events.

"I thought we were –" I started, but she cut me off.

"Nobody should have to suffer through having to ride in that thing more than absolutely necessary," she said, chuckling lightly at her own joke. "We're taking my car."

I opened the back door and beckoned for Jackson to jump in, which he did eagerly, before seating myself in the passenger seat. How I'd ever survived riding in Jasper's truck I had no idea, because compared to Alice's Volvo, it was a pile of junk. The engine revved incredibly smoothly as Alice turned the key in the ignition.

When we got there Alice helped me gather all the stuff I'd written down on my shopping list and soon enough we were done so I pushed the cart to the counter and pulled my wallet from my bag to pay.

"You and Jasper are pretty close, huh?" Alice asked casually as she piled two cartons of milk on the rolling band.

"I guess," I mumbled, not sure where this conversation was going. We had cleverly avoided the subject for the whole car ride here, but now that she was confronting me, I didn't really know what to say. "I mean, we used to be really close."

"Yeah," she muttered, "he mentioned that."

"Why?" I burst out before I could stop myself.

"Nothing," she said. She seemed unusually gloomy. I mean, I'd only known her for around a day, but when she was with Jasper she was always so jumpy and hyper and cute.

"Something wrong?" I pressed. I didn't want it to be awkward between us, especially since she was one of my only two friends here in Forks.

She was quiet for a long time as she continued to empty the cart. "He talks about you a lot."

"It's not like that, Alice," I reassured her quickly. Jasper was still that lonely 14-year-old boy in my mind, despite the fact that he'd clearly grown up since the last time I saw him. I just couldn't see him that way. "He might talk to you about me, but he completely raves about you whenever we talk. He missed you so much today at school. I don't think you left his thoughts all day to be honest. It got kinda annoying after a while; I couldn't' get him to shut up."

My rant seemed to cheer her up a bit, because as she picked up the final box of cereal from the cart and placed it at the register, she threw me a quick smile and her eyes seemed to glow. "Really?"

"Don't even worry about it," I added quickly. "Jazz is like a brother to me. I could never see him that way."

And then she hugged me and it caught me so of guard that I stumbled backwards. It was quick though, and within a second she had let go again and was walking over to Jackson who was eagerly packing the food into plastic bags. I had never been much of a hug person, usually preferring casual smiles and waves rather than actual physical contact, but with Alice it seemed okay. Natural somehow.

On the way home, after 5 minutes of silence, Alice broke it by asking me about my first day of school. I didn't have much to tell her, although I did mention Newton at which she let out a heavy sigh and shrugged her shoulders. Apparently he had pulled his whole 'overly friendly' thing with her too when she first came, and warned me that if I let it go too far, I'd never get rid of him. I made mental note of that, deciding that first thing tomorrow morning I would start my detachment process. I told her about Esme and how she was homeschooling Jackson, at which she giggled, and eventually the conversation transitioned to her family, which was honestly infinitely more interesting than my first day at school.

Apparently Carlisle and Esme were going to take in a foster child.

"Carlisle told me this morning," she said, excitement coloring her tone. Watching her talk so casually about it made _me_ nervous _for_ her. If my parents had taken in a stranger, I would most likely have spent all my time locked in my room, too anxious to go outside and meet my so-called 'sibling'. Because that's just what I would do, who I was.

"When's she coming?"

"He," Alice corrected. "Friday? I think…Thursday?"

A week after me. At least I wouldn't be the 'new kid' for much longer. I had to mentally slap myself for wishing he'd go through the same torture I'd have to go through this whole week.

-

When we got home, it was almost dark outside. The sun went down so much earlier here than it did in Phoenix and was slightly shocked as I walked into the kitchen to realize that it was only five. I _was_ going to ask Jackson to help me unpack the many plastic bags we had brought home with us, but before the thought even crossed my mind he had planted himself in front of the TV, clinging onto a wireless Playstation console. I let out a deep sigh as I began unpacking them all by my lonesome. I had used up all the money in my wallet, which wasn't a lot, but I figured it was worth it. And I could always ask Charlie for compensation later.

After everything had been put away, I pulled out a packet of pasta from the cupboard and brought out one of the many pots that the Hales' had lent us. It was kind of dusty, so I quickly washed it before filling it to the brim with hot water and then pouring the whole packet of spaghetti in. I'd bought ready-made sauce to go with it, so I just stuck it in the rusty microwave and waited for the spaghetti to cook.

The moment Jackson smelled the enticing aroma of instant pesto sauce he materialized in the kitchen, mouth watering and hunger filling his wide eyes. I placed the plate in front of him and he was done within minutes. Poor boy. I hadn't made him a proper meal since the night before we left Phoenix. That was the first night we'd been alone, Charlie, Jackson and I, and I'd just needed to get out of the house. So I went to the supermarket and ended up cooking the most extravagant meal consisting of a whole chicken, baked potatoes and a fruit salad.

And then he was gone again and I was left in the kitchen, alone with only my own thoughts as company. I had an almost irresistible urge to walk up to my room and sit on the window ledge like I had that first evening. But I knew that was stupid. And I knew Alice was over there right now, so he probably wouldn't even be out on the balcony tonight. Not that I cared. Or should. It was just a thought. A really stupid one.

-

The rest of that week passed with little excitement; every day I would go through the same boring routine of getting up, going to school, doing homework, cooking dinner and then finally going to sleep. It was so bland, and incredibly draining, going through that same tedious practice every day. Jasper and Alice made it somewhat better though. On Wednesday I had skipped gym and they'd both skipped their final class and we'd gone down to the lake again.

Apparently Alice's new 'brother' was arriving the next day, but she didn't know much more than that, so we didn't talk about him a lot. Plus, Jasper didn't seem all that excited about it, probably not looking forward to the fact that another guy would become a permanent resident at the Cullen household. Whenever one of us would mention it, Jasper would take a sip from one of the beer cans which he'd stashed in his truck in case of an emergency, mutter a soft but firm 'fuck' and throw a pebble at the lake with a restless expression on his face.

When I got back to the house that night, Charlie had already come home from work and was sitting in his usual spot on the couch, feet on a box and a cold beer in one hand. _Typical_. I muttered a low 'hey' before continuing to the kitchen where Jackson was sitting at the dinner table, quite a collection of books open in front of him.

"What's all that?" I asked curiously, filling a glass with water before sitting down next to him and picking up one of the books. I skimmed through the pages, a faint smile appearing on my lips as I took in the colorful doodles cluttered throughout the book. "Romeo and Juliet? Isn't that a little hard-core for a fifth-grader?"

"Mrs. Cullen told me to read it," Jackson whined, putting his pencil down and giving me a sour look. "But it's so boring."

"It's not so bad," I offered. He obviously wasn't as appreciative of the classics as I was. I changed the subject. "Have you had anything to eat?"

He shook his head miserably, still with that sour look plastered on his plump face. "Dad gave me a Mars bar, but I already ate it."

"Typical," I muttered to myself as I walked over to the fridge and pulled out a carton of milk, a couple of eggs and some butter. I walked over to the cupboard and pulled out a packet of flour. "You in the mood for pancakes?"

He nodded eagerly this time. _Good_. I wasn't exactly in the mood to prepare a feast, so pancakes seemed like the preferable option. I whipped up the pancake mixture quickly and began frying them whilst Jackson watched intensely from the table. I glanced at the clock hanging on the wall. _7:45_.

"You must be starving, little man." I smirked as I poured another dose of batter into the frying pan.

"Kinda."

Yawning, he placed his head on the table and started twirling the pencil between his fingers. He looked completely exhausted, so I took out a plate and slipped a couple pancakes onto it, figuring he could go ahead and eat. I wasn't all that hungry anyway. He gulfed them down quickly, not pausing once as he swallowed piece after piece. He didn't even take a break to take a sip of the glass of water I'd brought him. When he was done he pushed the plate to one side, crossed his arms across the table and settled in to take a nap. I just smiled.

I finished frying the rest of the batter and when I was done, I put a few on one plate and the rest on another and brought the fuller one to Charlie, who was still sitting in front of the TV. He thanked me with a lazy grunt as I placed the plate on one of the boxes. I brought mine up to my room with me and picked at them in silence as I sat on the windowsill.

The sky was actually clear for once, so I could see a few stars and the moon decorating the dark blue. This night felt different than the others, and I couldn't quite decide if it was in a good way or a bad way. Change could be good. _If it meant getting out of this hell hole_, I thought to myself as I tore the pancakes on my plate into shreds. A sudden tap on the window made me look up.

Jasper was standing on his balcony, I wide smile displayed on his face. He gave me a small wave which I quickly returned before jumping down from the windowsill and opening the window.

"Hey, Jazz," I said casually and I couldn't help but smile. His good mood was infectious.

"Izzy," he threw back, smirking as he did. He knew I hated it when he called me that. I had been very specific about what names he could call me since the first day we met. Even 'Bee' was a bit of a stretch, but Izzy, along with Bells and Ella, were far up on the list of the forbidden.

"Don't call me that," I moaned, still with a slight smile displayed on my lips. "We've talked about this, Jazz. I don't call you Jay and you don't call me Izzy, Ella, Bells, Nutella, Salmonella or any other word that happens to rhyme with my bitch-of-a-name, ok?"

He let out a rusty chuckle. "Whatever you say, Bee. You're the boss."

"Damn right, I am," I shot back at him. "So shape up, Jazz!"

"Sir yes, sir!" he said, saluting me as I positioned myself so that my feet were dangling out the window. _At least this hasn't changed_. I thought myself lucky as I sat there, casually chatting to the boy I'd known for most of my childhood and adolescent life. Maybe life could be good here? As long as I had Jasper by my side, I figured it could. Maybe? Hopefully.


	3. Momentarily mesmerized

**A/N : All this belongs to Stephenie Meyer - I'm just playing with her toys! **

**A slightly shorter chapter, which i apologize for, BUT ON THE BRIGHT SIDE: EDWARD!**

**

* * *

**

**EDWARD**

**

* * *

**

"Fuck!"

A grim silence followed as the word escaped my tight lips. I looked up from the burn on my finger as I sat in the backseat of the Doctor's jet black Mercedes. The doctor and his wife had been talking minutes earlier but were dead silent now.

You'd think that after having been a vampire for the past 98 years I would've learned to stay away from sunlight. But it just crept up on me sometimes. I glared at the stream of sunlight that penetrated through the thick clouds and through the tinted glass. I unbuckled the seatbelt and shifted to the other _dark_ side of the car. _Fuck._

"Sorry," I mumbled, shoving my finger in my mouth to stop the burning. It stung. _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. _

"Just so you know, Edward," the Doctor began, catching my gaze in the rear-view mirror, "that kind of language will not be tolerated in our household."

I grunted in submission. _Best not to stir things up_, I reminded myself. _But it really fucking hurts!_ I sucked it up, taking a deep breath to try to calm my nerves. I pulled my finger out of my mouth and examined the burn; it was pretty intense for a sunburn. Still – I'd seen worse.

The Doc had said it would take at least a couple of hours to get to wherever we were going. I hadn't been able to bring myself to listen long enough to hear exactly where that was, I just figured it'd be some tiny excuse of a town in the middle of nowhere. I was right. I tried to pass the time by glaring out the window, but I saw nothing but green, green and green. _Fuck green -_ _I hate green_.

The trip seemed to last an eternity, but when we finally pulled into a drive way and came to a stop, I felt a rush of relief. I opened the door quickly, pulling my shoulder bag behind me as I walked to the trunk of the car to retrieve the rest of my stuff. I slung my bags over my shoulders and kicked the door closed as I walked past it, taking a deep breath as I continued towards the gigantic house that lay before me. It was huge, way bigger than the loft I'd left behind a few hours ago.

"Woah," I mumbled in awe, as I took it all in. _Fucking huge_.

Just as I was about to make my way up the stairs to the main door, I heard another car pull up in the driveway and turned around; a silver Volvo. Pretty nice too, all sleek and shiny. But what caught me off guard the most was who stepped out of it. I'd never in my wildest dreams thought that girls like that would reside in such a shitty town as this, never mind actually live in the same _house_. But I knew better than to drool after girls like her; they do nothing but pick you up to later shove you into the ground. I'd had my fair share of experience in that area. _Fucking hell if I ever went there again_.

Although, she wasn't dressed like the girls had been back where I came from. She wasn't wearing a skimpy skirt, a revealing top or a shitload of make-up; she looked classy, not that I knew shit about classy, wearing a black, skinny trench coat, skirt and tights. As little skin as possible. _Fine by me_. Given my condition, that was a rule I stuck to. Firmly.

But then she spoke; a clear high-pitched voice escaped her plump lips, and I had to force myself not to cover my ears. She babbled on non-stop as I dragged myself and my belongings into their mansion, introducing herself as Alice and then proceeding to ask about my trip and former home and just as it seemed like she had no more questions to ask, she noticed the burn on my finger and it set her off anew. I didn't answer any of them with more than a grunt or a mumble, though she didn't seem to notice. I just wanted her to leave me alone.

She skipped up the stairs ahead of me, way too eager to show me the way to my new bedroom. I'd shared my loft with nine other guys, so when she opened the door and let me into a room that was at least twice as big as the one I'd had to put up with for the past few years, I was completely dumbstruck. The bed alone was too good to be true, king sized and everything.

"If you need anything, just call," she squeaked, flashing me a wide smile before turning around and bouncing out the room. I let out a deep sigh of liberation as I pulled the large hardwood door to a close and leaned my back against it. _Fucking hell._ I glanced quickly around the room, taking in my new living quarters. Everything was either black, dark brown or red and there was a bookshelf standing at the opposite wall of my bed. I walked over to it and ran my gaze across the bindings, searching for familiar titles. _War and Peace, American Psycho, Wuthering Heights_; I'd read them all before. The mix was incomprehensible, but nonetheless it didn't bother me, I was just happy I'd at least have _something_ to do to pass the time in this new personal hell hole of mine.

A few hours later I heard a faint knock on my bedroom door. I'd been sitting against the wall, wrapped up in one of the hundreds of books that resided in the bookshelf, so I was thoroughly annoyed when Alice barged in, that goofy smile on display again. "Dinner time!" she exclaimed excitedly.

_Fuck._

I cleared my throat before I spoke. How was I going to get out of this one? "Actually," I mumbled, "I'm not that hungry."

"That's bull," she said matter-of-factly, placing both hands on her hips and pouting at me. I had no idea what she was trying to do, but she'd caught my lie, so I reluctantly put the book down on the floor and pulled myself up. "There we go!"

The Doc and his wife had already set the table and were all smiles when we came down to the dining room. It looked as if they'd cooked up a whole feast, and I couldn't help but feel a tiny smidgeon of guilt as I watched them go through all this trouble on my behalf, especially since I knew I couldn't eat any of it. Then I heard my stomach rumble, and even though I knew it'd taste like dirt compared to my usual diet of choice, I couldn't help myself. I was hungry.

"There you are, Edward," the wife cooed. "I hope you're hungry!"

"Esme's prepared something a little more special for your arrival tonight," The Doc pointed out. _Esme._

I mustered up a somewhat awkward smile as I took a seat at the corner of the table; it was conveniently in the opposite corner to where Alice had placed herself. But that didn't stop her. She continued her questioning, wanting to know everything about me, which was pretty difficult considering that I couldn't really tell her any of it. Not that I even wanted to. It didn't exactly leave me ecstatic.

Dinner was good, though. _Considering_. Figuring I might as well score some bonus points, I told Esme that it was delicious. She just smiled at me and began clearing the table. And then it became awkward, because I didn't know if I was supposed to stay in my seat or if I could excuse myself. I looked around at Alice, who was cleaning her teeth with a tooth pick, and then at the Doc, who was leaning back in his chair with his hands on his stomach. I cleared my throat. They both instinctively looked up at me. _What?_

I glanced at the clock on the wall. _8:45_. "I should probably turn in."

The Doc glanced at his own wrist watch and sighed. "School starts at eight tomorrow."

"Okay," I mumbled as I got up from my seat, but before I could exit the dining hall, Alice had bounced up from her seat and was standing right next to me. I sighed.

"I'll take you," she offered, smiling innocently at me. It only made me even more frustrated.

"I can just walk," I responded.

"Are you crazy?" she retorted, raising an eyebrow at me as if to indicate how stupid my response had been. "That would take at least an hour. We don't actually live in town, you know."

"Oh," I said, mentally kicking myself for not being able to get out of this little arrangement. "So…"

"I'll take you," she repeated. "Be ready at 7:30. We'll take the Volvo."

I stayed quiet, but she kept looking at me expectantly, so I quickly nodded just so she would leave me alone. She tilted her head to one side before sliding her phone out of her pocket and dialing a number.

"Hey, Jazz. Guess what?"

I let out a deep moan and walked up the stairs. Even though I knew I didn't have to, I went through the routine and got dressed for bed, brushed my teeth with the toothbrush they'd provided, and walked over to the spot on the floor where the unfinished book lay. I inserted my iPod earphones into my cold ears and picked up the book. I settled in for the night, genuinely glad to get some uninterrupted time to myself. The action-packed nature of my days was enough to make me thoroughly exhausted; I could tell I would come to value these late-night hours immensely.

So I closed my eyes as the comforting tunes of Muse filled my mind. _You could be my unintended…_

**

* * *

BELLA**

* * *

Friday. _Finally_. I had been waiting for this painful week to be over since the first moment I stepped foot at Forks High. It had been bearable, though, so I didn't actually have that much to complain about. At least I had friends here; in Phoenix I'd been forced to walk the hallways completely alone, noticed by nobody, and if I was being completely honest with myself, it wasn't exactly something I'd enjoyed.

Alice wasn't coming with me and Jasper today as planned; I suspected she would be taking her new brother to school. I waited for Esme to arrive this morning, which she did, equipped and on time as usual, and then I quickly made my way over to Jasper's truck, where he was patiently waiting. I climbed in on the passenger's side and settled in for the bumpy ride ahead, inserting my iPod earphones and taking a deep breath.

The truck harshly jerked to a stop, waking me from my dream-like state, reminding me that I had to go through another excruciating day at Forks High before returning to the comfort and safety of my own home. I got out reluctantly and hung my heavy schoolbag over my shoulder as Jasper walked around the truck to join me. I motioned to start walking towards the courtyard, but to my surprise we ended up standing by the truck for a few minutes.

"What are you doing?" I inquired. Jasper's gaze darted across the parking lot. He was looking for something. "Jazz?"

"Hm?" he said, turning his body towards me but his eyes remained alert. "What?"

But before I could respond a bell sounded in the distance, so Jasper gave up and put his arm around my shoulders, dragging me with him to homeroom.

I finally got to lunch after a particularly agonizing trig lesson where I'd not only gotten caught taking a nap, but been seated next to Jessica Stanley, who's possibly the most annoying girl at Forks High. I couldn't wait to disconnect myself with the help of my iPod and await the coming torture of biology and gym. Jasper had already seated himself at our usual table when I got there and was picking sourly at the plate of spaghetti that lay before him.

"Where's Alice?" I asked as I took my seat opposite him, placing my shoulder bag on the empty chair next to me. I'd packed an apple for lunch, having had only bad experiences with the cafeteria food here, and started nibbling on it as I waited for Jasper to respond. His gaze transitioned from the plate to my eyes and then to something that seemed to be approaching behind me.

"There," he mumbled, lifting his fork to point behind me. Before I could turn around to greet her, Alice bounced off my shoulders, causing me to choke on the piece of apple I'd been chewing. I cleared my throat and threw her a quick smile as she seated herself next to Jasper and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. He didn't look up at her. _Strange_. She didn't seem to notice.

"Hey Bella," she exclaimed, as she grabbed the fork Jasper was still holding in his hand and started eating the pasta on his plate. "How was trig?"

"Hell," I mumbled, and she gave me a knowing smile. Jessica Stanley wasn't exactly her favorite person either.

Suddenly her eyes flew up and she got up from her seat. I followed her with my gaze as she ran behind me, practically bouncing as she did. She returned seconds later with an angry looking boy wearing a leather jacket over a black jumper, the hood pulled over his head so I could barely see his face. The contrast between him and Alice couldn't have been more evident as they stood there, him with his head down, her glowing like she was on drugs.

"Edward," she said to the boy, poking his arm repeatedly. He let out a loud moan before removing his earphones from his ears and looking up from the floor.

His eyes were amazing against his extremely pale skin; a perfect shade of hazel. They reminded me of Esme's, but they weren't as soft and inviting as hers; his were fierce and piercing, and as his eyes met mine in a brief lock, I felt like he could see right through me and into my soul. He lowered his hood and exposed the untidy mess of hair that had been hiding under it. He towered over us as he stood by our table, giving no indication that he wanted to sit down; his hands dug deeply into the pockets of his leather jackets and the expression on his face hinted at nothing less than extreme boredom.

"Sit," Alice commanded, sitting down next to Jasper once more, who now looked even more evasive than before, if that was even possible. I quickly picked up my bag which rested on the only vacant chair and placed it in my lap. He sat down heavily, plugging the buds into his ear again and crossing his arms across his chest.

Sitting next to him made me so incredibly uncomfortable and self-conscious, so I hugged my bag for support, hoping he wouldn't notice how nervous I was. He probably didn't, because he didn't look up from his iPod once. I bit my lip and looked over at Alice, hoping she could distract me.

After I'd finished my apple, I quickly exited the cafeteria, eager to get away from the awkward atmosphere that had inhabited our table all throughout lunch. Even though there was still another fifteen minutes left until biology class, I just couldn't stay in there any longer. Awkward really wasn't a strong enough word to describe it, though. It was more like painful or unbearable or worse than walking barefoot on needles and then sticking them in a pile of salt.

So when I walked into biology those fifteen minutes later, I felt incredibly relieved that I would be able to spend yet another hour doodling on my planner. I opened my biology textbook, putting on a show of complete attention, but when Mr. Connor turned off the lights to show us a video on DNA replication, I rested my head on it and drifted off into sleep.

Half way through the movie I was harshly jerked back to reality when the chair next to me scratched against the plastic floor. I opened my eyes with a grunt, ready to face the culprit, but my voice lodged in my throat as I realized who it was.

He didn't look at me as he sat down and leaned back in his seat casually. Settling in, I guessed. I didn't really know what to say, so I started out with a simple question.

"Your name?" I squeaked, my voice much more high-pitched that I'd originally intended.

He didn't look up, just mumbled an almost inaudible reply. "Edward."

His complete disinterest in everything around him made him so incredibly hard to talk to yet at the same time so incredibly intriguing. I had so many questions to ask, but I had the feeling he wasn't exactly the type of person who was up for light conversation, so I kept my mouth shut. For a while.

"So you're from…" I started, hoping he'd take the hint.

He didn't.

I cleared my throat. Couldn't hurt to try again, right?

"Alice didn't know where you were coming from," I said. He didn't flinch. _What was his problem? _So I cleared my throat louder and tapped my fingers against the stone bench, trying inconspicuously to draw his attention. He finally showed some sign of life, letting out a goaded moan before lowering his hood and pulling out the iPod buds from his ears. Suddenly I felt stupid.

"What?" he said harshly, running his hand through his messy bronze hair, his eyes burning with irritation. Momentarily mesmerized and slightly shocked by his sudden burst of impatience, I just stared at him with a blank expression on my face, but when he cleared his throat and offered a small wave, I snapped back to reality.

"I was just wondering," I began slowly, getting more insecure by the second, "where you were from."

"Fresno," he said coolly, pulling his hood back up. Apparently the conversation was over. _Great_. Fine by me.

-

On my way home in Jaspers truck my mind started racing. My thoughts started to overwhelm me –thoughts about my mom, thoughts about Jasper, thoughts about Charlie.

Thoughts about Edward.

"No!" I burst out before I could stop myself, causing Jasper to jerk in the driver's seat. The car swayed to the right slightly before he regained control of the wheel.

"What the hell, Bee?" he shouted, punching my shoulder lightly as punishment. "You nearly gave me a heart-attack, lady!"

"Sorry," I mumbled in embarrassment, my cheeks flushing a light shade of pink. _Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._

"What was that about?"

"Nothing," I said. I couldn't come up with a good enough excuse so I figured I'd just say as little as possible, but I knew Jasper wouldn't have it.

"Don't 'nothing' me, Bee," Jasper complained. "People don't just yell out random shit for no reason. Now spill!"

"I was just," I began, "…dreaming. Maybe. I don't know."

"Has anybody ever told you how weird you are?" he asked, clearly amused as he heaved a deep sigh before pulling into his driveway and getting out of the truck. I walked away quickly, giving him a small wave before walking into my house.

As I was sitting in the kitchen, the day's homework sprawled on the table in front of me, a ray of sunlight pierced through the window and ran across the table. Esme and Jackson, who were both sitting at the other side of the table, seemed to notice it too, because Esme's eyes started to glow and a wide, goofy smile exploded on Jackson's lips. I hadn't seen the sun in a week, so I figured I might as well embrace it whilst I still had it. I ditched my open notebooks and walked into the hallway.

When I was just about to open the door to go outside and soak up some sun, Jackson ran up to me and started tugging at my arm. Esme followed soon after, her bags all packed and ready to go. _More Jackson Bella quality time_ -_ great_.

"Bye, Bella!" Esme called as she slid through the door. She waved casually at Jackson before making her way over to Alice's Volvo which stood parked by the curb. As we followed her out and as she got into her ride and it pulled out of its parking spot, I thought I saw a flash of bronze hair in the back seat. My heart fluttered. _Stop it!_

It didn't even make sense. I didn't even _know_ him. Not even his last name! My knowledge of him pretty much extended to his first name and the town he'd moved from. And how beautiful he was. And tall. And beautiful. _Stop it!_

Mentally slapping myself, I walked out the gate with determined steps, firm in my decision to completely disconnect myself from any thoughts of Edward.

_Edward Cullen_, I asked myself unsurely. Was he going to change his name now that the Cullen's had taken him in? How long would he be staying? Would he graduate? How old was he, anyway, because to me he looked at least 20…

_I said stop it! Don't make me slap you again. _


	4. Hole in his heart

**A/N : All this belongs to Stephenie Meyer - I'm just playing with her toys! **

**reviews are candy, darlings :)**

**

* * *

**

**BELLA**

* * *

Sitting with Edward was pure torture and every day I found myself dreading the hour I had to spend next to him in biology. He completely ignored me whenever I tried to talk to him, leaving me sitting awkwardly in my seat, unsure of what I was supposed to do about my temperamental lab partner. Not only did he make me incredibly and unfathomably anxious and jittery, but his callous nature made me so annoyed that I wanted to rip him to shreds just as much as it made me desperate for his attention. It was all so overwhelming that when he spoke to me for the first time in a week, the Thursday after his arrival, I was so shocked I could barely restrain myself.

"W-what?" I stuttered, brushing my hair behind my ears in a nervous gesture, avoiding his glaring eyes as if my life depended on it.

I could see him roll his eyes before he repeated himself in a tone that indicated immense frustration. "Hand me the dish."

Disappointed at the simplicity of his inquiry, I, completely unaware of myself, heaved a deep sigh. He raised a thick eyebrow at me, scrutinizing my facial expression which no doubt showed nothing but hurt and discontentment. I swiftly let my hair drop from behind my ear, creating a thick curtain between the two of us as I quickly glanced at the edge of the table where Mr. Banner had placed a tray of petri dishes. I pushed it to him without a second glance. He didn't say thank you. I let out another sigh.

I heard the distinct sound of petri dishes colliding, and assumed he was busy setting up the experiment we'd been assigned, so I spared a glance through my strategically placed curtain of dark brown hair. He was setting up the light microscope we'd been provided with, searching the edge of the lab table for the outlet. My fingers instinctively ran over the outlets that were located on my side of the table and I debated for a few seconds whether or not I should tell him, or if I even had the courage to do so. I felt like every word I spoke to him only intensified his hatred for me and it made me extremely reluctant to make even the slightest sound while I sat next to him. I cleared my throat. He groaned.

"Here," I mumbled, holding out my hand, indicating for him to hand me the chord. He just looked at me. I was beginning to think that he didn't have facial expressions other than the one he constantly had on display – creased eyebrows, piercing eyes and tightly curled lips. I arched my fingers, hoping he'd take the hint. He didn't. "The chord."

"What?"

"The outlet," I said, pointing at the edge of my desk. His eyebrows lifted in comprehension but instantly re-furrowed. He handed me the chord sourly, careful not to touch me in the process. I grabbed hold of the end of the chord and plugged it in cautiously, not wanting to attract any more attention. Giving him a small nod to indicate that he could proceed with the experiment, I went back to doodling in my planner.

He didn't even ask me to help, he just performed the whole experiment by himself, switching from petri dish to petri dish, stopping at times to take notes. I didn't dare intrude. I just hoped he actually knew what he was doing; I didn't want to get an F on account of me being too much of a coward to stand up for myself. Mr. Banner glanced at Edward's paper momentarily as he passed our table, giving him an approving smile before moving on. _I guess he _does_ know what he's doing._

When the bell rang Edward didn't get up from his seat; he just sat in his chair, his hands balled into tight fists, his knuckles a pale yellow. The veins on his hands were massive, protruding under his skin as if desperate to escape. He looked upset. Or frustrated. Or angry. I couldn't really tell with him anymore and it was a pretty safe assumption that even if he did feel anything other than general hatred for everything and everybody around him, he probably wouldn't show it. His jaw was tense too, as if he was clenching his teeth as hard as he could, and his eyes seemed darker and more intense than usual. But this time, they also seemed sad, as if he was really hurting, both physically and emotionally.

Suddenly he glanced up and our eyes met in a fierce lock, but he didn't look angry, he just looked burdened and desperate. Before I could even consider attempting to rip my gaze from his, he got up from his seat and walked past me, brushing his right arm against my unsuspecting shoulder. Apparently he had places to go, and I was somebody he could just trample on his way there. I mentally kicked myself for being such a push-over.

**

* * *

EDWARD**

* * *

I had to control myself so that I wouldn't knock her straight into the wall; she was standing in front of me, that same sympathetic look on her face, her eyes full of pity. I didn't need pity. I didn't need sympathy. Truth be told I hadn't even intended on walking into her, but when the thirst gets that bad, there are cruel side-effects and I couldn't hold it back. All I could think about was the blood that I could hear pounding through her veins; I had to get out of there.

I was beginning to regret my decision to cut myself off cold turkey. It would be impossible. My throat had never felt so dry before, even last time when I'd held myself off for two and a half weeks; it had just been easier back then, when I wasn't alone. The veins in my hands were throbbing against my granite skin and it hurt. It fucking hurt. My vision was starting to blur; I could barely see what was a mere meter in front of me, so I walked with my gaze firmly centered on my feet as they paced across the worn out floor of the hallway.

I could feel my mouth start to water, the wet making it even more difficult to resist the walking buffet that surrounded me. People just stared. I wanted to tell them to mind their own business but I was afraid that if I opened up my mouth and tasted the air riddled with the smell of their tempting blood I wouldn't be able to control myself. So I walked. Disoriented and determined.

Even when Alice intercepted my path, I didn't flinch, leaving her behind me as I continued towards the Volvo that stood parked amongst the piles of junk that inhabited the parking lot. No way was I going to sit through another lesson while my addiction was eating away at me like this. Because it was an addiction, and I was starting to feel the destructive symptoms of withdrawal.

I needed blood, and I needed it fast.

**

* * *

BELLA**

* * *

When I walked out from the girls' locker room 60 painful minutes later, I couldn't help but scan the parking lot for Edward, but the Volvo wasn't there so I figured that he'd probably left already. All through gym I'd overworked my brain trying to figure out what was wrong with him; I couldn't quite place it, but I knew there was something wrong. Not wanting to pry, I had already decided that I wouldn't ask him about it. But maybe I'd ask Alice. Maybe.

Jasper was already sitting in his Chevrolet when I arrived. The truck exuded a low humming sound as I climbed through the door and buckled myself in. A quick glance told me something was up.

"Jazz?"

He mumbled an indifferent 'huh', not taking his eyes off the road as I turned myself to face him properly. He didn't seem eager to talk, but I wasn't going to go down easy.

"You have been weird all week," I declared, but he remained completely unresponsive. I looked over at the crammed back seat of the truck and immediately noticed Alice's absence. "Where's Alice?"

At the mention of her name the corner of his lip twitched slightly. _Yes! We have contact!_ "Alice?"

"Uh-huh," I said, trying to sound as casual as possible. I knew Jasper well enough to know that he wouldn't talk unless I let him do it in his own time. I just had to make that right _now_.

He ran his right hand through his straw-blonde hair in a laid-back manner, maintaining control of the wheel with the other, and heaved a deep exasperated sigh. He clearly had _something_ on his mind. "It's just…"

He cut himself short and I had to tell myself not to strangle him in frustration. I took a few short breaths as I tried to calm myself; I had never been good with confrontation, even if I was the one doing the confronting. Silence enveloped us as we sat in the truck, me tapping my fingers against the dusty window as he stared at the road in front of him with intense concentration. It made me restless, and being restless didn't suit me one bit.

"I haven't seen her all week, you know," he said bluntly. It sounded more like he was presenting a case rather than just speaking to a friend. I really wanted him to trust me with this, so I placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and tried to catch his gaze. He shot me a fleeting look before switching his focus back to the road again. At least it was something. "I don't know what she's doing."

"Jazz…"

"Just…let me talk, Bee." He let out another deep moan before he continued. "Ever since that dude showed up we've barely talked to each other. I mean, she called me that night he got here, but she hasn't come over or called or…since then."

I waited patiently, preparing to voice my already thought-through resolution to the problem. Of course there was only one answer to the question he was about to ask me. _Right?_

"I'm not fucking insane, right? I mean – this isn't something…"

"It's not anything, Jazz," I said, cutting the approaching silence. Wanting to spare him the trouble of voicing the question that was most likely tearing his mind, and heart, to shreds, I decided to answer it before he could ask. "There's nothing like you and Alice and she knows that, Jazz. Don't even worry about it. She's just…been busy."

"Bee," Jazz said, offering me a sideways glimpse laced with doubt, "no offense, but we both know that's complete bullshit. Alice is never too busy for anything. Last year she managed to pull together prom, plan her own fucking surprise birthday party and study for finals all in the same two weeks; it's not like she's not fucking functional under pressure."

His voice started to peak, growing louder and louder with ever word he spoke. I'd never seen him like this before; he was always so stable around me, completely in control of himself and his feelings. Right now, he was anything but.

I didn't know what to say to him. He had a point, after all, but that didn't mean that I agreed with it. I'd only known Alice for two short weeks, two pretty sour ones, but I still knew her well enough to know that she cared more about Jasper than she did about her own well-being. How he couldn't see that astounded me, but I still didn't know how to put it into the right words so that he would understand. So I remained silent.

-

Charlie came home late for dinner as usual; Jackson had already devoured his portion of fried rice which I'd cooked up for the three of us. When he stumbled into the kitchen, the stench of stale beer and cigarettes surrounding him, I had to force myself to hold back the disgust. He was a mess and I didn't know how to fix it; he, on the other hand, seemed to think that drowning himself in alcohol and narcotics was the way to go. I grunted a low 'hello'. He didn't seem to hear me. _Great._

I walked into the TV room where Jackson had seated himself comfortably in the couch. He was holding his Playstation controller, apparently in the middle of an intense session of game playing. I sat down heavily next to him, closing my eyes as I leaned my head back and rested it against the couch. It seemed so natural, and the normality of the situation calmed me. _I can really get used to this_, I thought to myself, smiling slightly at the idea. But then Charlie burst into the room, demanding to watch some game or other, and the moment of bliss was short-lived.

I marched up the stairs and instead of taking a right and walking into the comfort and safety of my room, I continued straight into the bathroom and locked myself in. Whilst inside, I placed myself in front of the mirror, gazing at my own reflection. My skin had gotten paler since my arrival in Forks, which wasn't exactly surprising considering the excessive lack of sun in this town, and my hair seemed to have gotten darker too. It was weird, almost like I was looking at someone else – like I was looking at my mother.

I quickly averted my eyes, shutting them and grabbing the sink with both hands for support. _Mother_ - like I could even call her that anymore. Not only had she left a big hole in my heart when she left, but she'd completely destroyed my father. Charlie and I had always been so close; he had always been the one who would help me whenever I needed it and he would never judge me whenever I did something wrong. Even though Rene hadn't exactly been deserving of the 'mother of the year award' before the divorce, what with her constant picking at my weight, my grades or my lack of a social life, she had still _been_ there. She'd been there to cook dinner when I came home from school. She'd been there to sign permission slips for field trips. She'd been there to drive me to the hospital after my many, _many_, clumsy episodes. Now, not only was she a bad mother, but she wasn't even here to make up for it.

And then there was Charlie. The hole in his heart was infinitely larger than mine and, by the looks of it, it was still growing, attracting all kinds of infections and deadly diseases. He rarely came home before eight and when he did he didn't exactly arrive in the best shape. He would always mumble lame excuses like "I was out with the guys" or "I had to work late" or "those bears are acting up again" - the last one being tonight's chosen excuse, - and I was so tired of hearing them. And having a drunken cop as a role-model couldn't be good for Jackson, either.

I opened my eyes again and this time when I gazed at myself in the mirror they were glazed over. A tear ran slowly down my check and jaw line, leaving a cool trail in its wake, and I quickly wiped it away before I could fully grasp what I was doing. I was crying. I never cried. I didn't know I was _capable_ of crying. I brought the two fingers laced with tears up to my face and brushed my thumb and index finger together, feeling the cold wet between them. I quickly turned on the tap and washed the tears away. It felt strangely foreign to me, like it didn't belong, and I felt a sudden urge to wash it all away. I quickly stripped myself of the sweater and jeans I was wearing and stepped into the shower. I let the warm water spray all over me, untying the knots in my neck and back as the water cleansed my mind of its insufferable thoughts.

-

I had never been so terrified in my life as when I woke up in the middle of the night and found Jackson standing next to my bed, pale and shivering. I instantly sensed his fear. I was so scared that I felt as if my heart was trying to beat its way out of my chest. After several extremely deep breaths I unraveled myself from the tight cocoon of blankets I'd been wrapped in and leaned myself against my headboard. I ran my pale fingers through my thick hair.

"Damn it, Jack. You almost gave me a heart attack!"

He didn't say anything. It was so weird seeing him this way, especially when he was usually such a bubble of joy. _What is up with the guys in this town? It's like they all malfunctioned simultaneously!_

"Jack?" I whispered. "Jackson?"

His breathing was choppy and jagged and the moonlight shining in through a gap in the drapes illuminated his breath against the pitch black that engulfed the rest of my room. My mind was still completely disheveled from the sudden awakening as I blindly reached for the iPod that still rested on the moving box next to my bed. I read the time: _3:24_.

"It's 3:30, Jack" I moaned, putting the iPod back down and burying myself in my blankets once again. I mumbled a short command. "Go to sleep."

A few silent minutes passed, but I never heard him leave, so I slowly lifted my eyelid until I could see through a small slit. He was still standing by my bed, so I dragged myself into a seated position and situated myself so my feet were dangling off the edge of the bed. I patted the spot next to me, gesturing for Jackson to sit down. He looked down at his feet, clearly insecure and uncomfortable with the situation, so I placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. He shied away slightly, taking a small step to the side as if to avoid my touch. He mumbled something inaudible.

"What?" I wondered. He was really starting to scare me.

"Wolves," he mumbled as he twirled his toes in a circle on the floor. _Oh god._

"Jack," I whined. Jack's irrational fear of wolves had always been something that Rene would have had to deal with. It hadn't been a problem when we were in Phoenix, but every summer he'd spend the majority of his nights curled up in a ball on the couch, just staring into space. I'd only seen it once or twice, though, and most of the time Rene would stay up with him, running her fingers through his hair until he fell asleep. I'd never even heard of there being wolves in Forks; Charlie had never mentioned it.

"Can I…" he began, cutting himself short before he could get the words out. "Can I stay here?"

"In my _room_?" I questioned in disbelief, but the sincerity of his tone and the genuine panic in his eyes melted my cold exterior and I couldn't help myself. "Sure."

I pulled my sheets down and stood up, motioning for him to crawl in. After he was safely under the covers, I walked around to the other side and made myself comfortable. Offering a swift glimpse at Jackson, I saw that he was still wide awake, eyes glued on the ceiling, and in a gesture of uncharacteristic maternity I raised my hand and started running my fingers through his hair. Like Rene used to, like she would've done if she were here. _If._

He was asleep within moments. The sound of his soft breathing soothed me, and soon everything went black again.

-

"Where the fuck have you been? You're half an hour late!"

"Sorry!" I squeaked as I closed the door behind me and buckled in. "Jackson was being a pain."

"I can imagine," Jasper mumbled bitterly as he put the truck in reverse and backed out of the driveway. He looked like he was about to burst, so I kept my mouth shut and my eyes focused on the road. My hair felt damp as I ran my fingers through it; it was raining pretty heavily outside. _Typical_.

"So what did Jackson do?" Jasper asked after a few minutes. His posture was extremely stiff as he sat in the driver's seat. I didn't really want to go into the morning routines at the Swan household, but I figured I could spare him a bitch-session. Not only had Jackson woken me up at 5:30, but he'd done so by jumping up and down on my bed, singing nursery rhymes at the top of his lungs, a stellar performance which he continued all through breakfast. I wasn't all that surprised when Charlie kicked him out and told him to stay in the backyard until he calmed down. But being who he was, he obviously didn't approve of the punishment, so he decided that running off into the neighboring forest and hiding would be a good idea.

"So Charlie forced me to go out and look for him," I finished. It felt good to get it off my chest, to say the least, and I always felt so comfortable talking to Jasper. "I found him – eventually – but he refused to come in so I gave up." I made an obvious motion at my drenched clothes and heard Jasper let out a deep chuckle. At least _he_ was feeling better.

"He'll come back," Jasper said assertively. "Jackson always comes back."

"Right now I'm kinda hoping he won't," I said teasingly, leaning my forehead against the cold glass of the window, the rain splattering against it as I did. Jasper slapped my shoulder lightly as he pulled into the school's parking lot. Alice hadn't arrived yet, which meant Edward hadn't arrived yet either but after deciding that the trail of thought needed to be cut immediately, I shifted my thoughts to the biology test I would be taking that same afternoon. _Great – _that's_ better._

"She's never late," Jasper mumbled. "You know that."

"It's been two weeks, Jazz. I don't know anything."

-

_Bzzz_. I usually kept my phone in my pocket in case of emergencies, a habit which was proving to be extremely disruptive, seeing as my phone had gone off for the third time today and I hadn't even made it through trig yet. Jessica stared down at my pocket with the nosy expression she usually had displayed on her face when something interesting caught her attention. I shrugged my shoulders casually and turned my attention back to the blackboard where an impressive list of equations had suddenly appeared. I sighed. I was just bad at trigonometry, and there was no denying it. I just didn't have the patience for it.

As I was walking down the hallway, eager to get to the cafeteria so I could submerge myself in my notes, I felt a sharp tap on my shoulder. I turned around quickly, disappointed when I found that the person standing in front of me wasn't Edward, it was Jessica. "So who was it?"

"What?" I asked automatically, my gaze shifting to a mysterious figure that was drifting down the hallway behind her, his bronze hair in disarray and the collar of his leather jacket pulled up. I got the distinct feeling that he was hiding. But then again, when wasn't he avoiding something - or _someone_?

He looked less pale today though, but the expression on his face hadn't changed. He was standing close enough that I could see his eyes; they were lighter somehow, like the brown had faded from the hazel and all that was left was gold. I couldn't help but notice that his hands weren't balled up in fists anymore, like they had been most of yesterday. His jaw didn't seem as tense either. _Weird._

"Bella?"

Jessica caught my attention by frantically waving in my line of sight, an annoyed glint in her eyes.

"What?"

"Who called? Ah, never mind – I don't care," she said bluntly. She turned on her heel and scurried in the opposite direction of the cafeteria, no doubt hoping that I'd go sprinting after her in desperation. Instead I lingered in my spot for a few minutes, letting my gaze wander, casually taking in my surroundings. I must've looked pretty stupid, because I attracted several concerned stares, so I decided to give up on whatever I was trying to achieve and slouched my way to the cafeteria.

Surprisingly, I managed to do some cramming before the biology test, so when I got there, after having quickly shut off my phone after yet another unanswered call, I felt pretty confident. The feeling quickly washed away the moment I spotted Edward sitting in his seat, staring at me with such supremacy that I almost stopped dead in my tracks. I didn't really know how to react to his sudden expression of interest, so I averted my gaze and walked directly to our shared table. I let my bag drop on the desk and sat down heavily in my chair. As I did, couldn't help but notice that he slid subtly away from me until he was sitting on the edge of his chair. At least he was being obvious, straight to the point. No sugarcoating. No hiding.

Except, he _was_ hiding; he was definitely hiding _something_.

**

* * *

EDWARD**

* * *

Sitting next to her was a little bit more bearable this time, although my jaw still tensed at the sound of the blood flowing through her veins. I could get used to that. _Fuck_ - I'd _have_ to get used to that. She folded her arms across the table and rested her head on top like she always did. She always walked in looking really insecure, like her mind was clouded with all those problems girls seem to have. It always frustrated me. She had no idea how badly life could be screwing you over. I knew.

I'd always had a photographic memory, so the test was dead easy and I finished it a good 30 minutes early, so I leaned back in my chair, pulled up my hood, and removed myself from my surroundings. But the images wouldn't go away. They were burned into my retinas, digging deeper and seeping into my brain until they completely consumed my thoughts. The dark vacant corners of my mind were now stuffed with the thought of the blood, the sound of the pleading screams. The struggle before death.

"Isabella Swan?"

My eyes flew open almost instantly and at the corner of my eye I saw Bella's head snap up. The school's receptionist was standing next to Mr. Banner, both their eyes glued on Bella. I looked at her, and saw that she appeared to be exactly as confused by the situation as I felt. They were giving her that stare that an innumerable number of people had given me before – pity. They felt sorry for her, and even though it was a feeling completely foreign to me, I felt a desire to know why.

"Could you come with me, please?"

She hesitated; I could see it in the way her fingers twitched, the way her eyes looked across the room. I could hear it in her heartbeat. She bit her lip; she always did that when she was nervous. She did it before tests, she did it whenever Mr. Banner would call on her in class and she did it the first time we met. She got up slowly, leaving her books open on her desk and her bag on the floor, and made her way towards the front of the room. The receptionist put a comforting hand on her shoulder and walked her out. I could hear her heart pumping furiously in her chest and her breathing quicken with every step she took. Definitely, definitely nervous.

-

I heard it before she walked in. Even though I couldn't see her, I could tell she was crying; her heart was pounding so fast, she was dragging her feet across the hallway floor and her nose was runny. I could already feel the heat radiating off her skin so when she entered the room, it didn't catch me by surprise to see exactly how much she'd been crying. Her eyes were so red and swollen it was a wonder she could see clearly enough to walk straight. Her hair was a mess, too and she drew short choppy breaths as she walked towards our desk. When she reached for her books, I could see that her hands were shaking and I knew, without even taking a second glance at her, that the news hadn't been good.

But I couldn't ask her, so I just watched her leave. This was going to eat away at me. _Fuck_.

* * *

**A/N : DUN DUN DUN - CLIFFHANGER :D  
**


	5. This sort of darkness

**A/N : All this belongs to Stephenie Meyer - I'm just playing around with her toys!  
**

**I've been meaning to post this one for a while - so here it is! ****ENJOY :D**

**

* * *

EDWARD**

* * *

Wednesday. She's been gone for three days. Not that I care, but the girl was crying, and I'm not completely heartless. It felt really alien sitting alone at our desk though; she' always been there sitting next to me, and even though we never talked there was something comforting about the proximity. People _never_ come near me and I didn't blame them – it's not like I was the most inviting person on the planet. Instead of pretending that I cared, I just tended to show people exactly how I felt, which most of the time was just blatant misanthropy. It was getting harder though, now that I actually have to hide who I am. Back where I came from I didn't have to because everybody down there was exactly like me: pale-skinned, cold-blooded creatures with hearts of stone. But here I was, a heart of stone amongst tender ones, and the difference between us couldn't be clearer. At least to me.

My mind fixed on the scent of blood that surrounded me and my mouth started to water. Abruptly the unspoken promise I'd made just a few weeks back consumed my thoughts just like it did every time I let my true craving get to me. I'd set up a wall, determined to distance myself from the monster I'd been back home, but the wall has now been damaged and it no longer seemed strong enough to contain the beast within me. It was as if it was losing against the unstoppable force of my burning desires. The wall had cracked once; I'd never let it get that far again.

I _was_ curious though. I mean, people don't just walk out and come back broken. Something happened, but, obviously, I couldn't ask. I was much too proud. And who would know anyway? Jasper? Alice? Fuck. It's not like I could ask _them_. I'd just have to linger around and see what I could pick up, I decided. Maybe Esme knew…

"Cullen?"

My head snapped up. It had taken a while for me to get used to my new last name; I'd always just been Edward and never anything else. I was officially a Cullen now, and it felt so strange, as if I was actually part of something now. I'd always envied those that were blessed with the security of a family, and now that I finally had one, I still couldn't help but feel like I wasn't really part of it, like I was just a visitor who could be sent home at any minute.

I ran my gaze across the class room and found myself sitting completely alone with a disappointed-looking Mr. Banner staring at me from the front of the room. Apparently class was over. _Great_.

"Dozed off, did we?"

I grunted in compliance as I began repacking my bag. A quick peek out the window told me I would most likely have to skip English; the sun was starting to break through the seemingly everlasting blanket of gray that always covered Forks, illuminating scattered patches of grass. One hour of English was something I'd gladly sacrifice if it meant I could escape the piercing pain the sun inflicted every time it hit my sensitive skin.

I marched out at a determined pace but my step slowed slightly with hesitation when I spotted the Volvo in the distance and found Alice already sitting comfortable in the passenger seat. She was staring into space with a look of intense concentration on her face. From experience I knew that if you interrupted Alice while in this state you basically opened up the flood gates and she'd never shut up, but this time it seemed different, deeper somehow. As I approached, it became obvious that she had been crying. Wanting to avoid being confronted by a heart-broken teenage girl, I spun on my heel and started walking away from the Volvo, but before I could reach a safe distance, I heard a car door open and quick-paced steps behind me. I sighed.

"Edward?"

I stopped in my tracks, closing my eyes in an effort to replenish my lost patience. I mumbled something purposefully indistinct so that she'd at least know that I'd heard her. She didn't say anything for a few seconds, so I turned around in a stubborn manner and glared down at her. I was right; she had been crying. _Why are girls always crying around me?_

"What do you need?" She seemed slightly taken aback by my harsh tone, so I cleared my throat and prepared myself to muster up some fake sympathy. "What's the matter?"

She sniffed a few times before she spoke. "Are you going home?"

I nodded. I thought I saw her lips turn up in a faint relieved smile before she started walking back towards the car. I stepped forward, following her with hurried steps and getting in the driver's seat. As I started the engine the thought to ask her what was wrong crossed my mind, but I decided not to act on it. _No use opening unnecessary flood gates_, I reminded myself.

She was quiet most of the way home, and it wasn't until I made it safely up to my room and had settled down in my usual reading spot on the floor that she suddenly became eager to talk. I sighed at the sound of her knocking on my door and reluctantly arose from my seat to open it.

**

* * *

BELLA**

* * *

When this sort of darkness engulfs you, there isn't much you can do about it. Except clean. Or cook_. _Something – _anything _– to keep yourself busy because at least then your mind can't run around recklessly, invading every last corner inside your head. All _I_ wanted was to just not have to think about it for one blissful minute. Or just a second – a second would go a long way – but my mind would never allow it, and I already knew that.

On the plus side, we did have plenty of boxes from the move, and I found myself feeling a great deal of appreciation for Charlie's incurable lethargy as I occupied myself with their contents. So that's how I spent my days – unpacking the endless amount of boxes that were still lying around the house. I also set up the bookshelf, replaced all the substitute boxes with proper furniture and put the rest in storage. The house was looking cleaner than I'd ever seen it, and for the first time in my seventeen years there was actually a proper meal on the dinner table every evening. I had to cook it, but that didn't matter, at least it meant I had something to do to keep myself busy.

But then there were those moments when my mind was left unrestrained. Moments when the darkness encircled me and the silence pierced through every barrier I'd put up to protect myself. Every instant was a struggle and it was getting harder to hold it together. I'd cried when they'd first told me, but since then my eyes had been bone dry. I'd pushed the tears down as far as they could go and I wasn't planning on letting them out any time soon. Especially not around Charlie.

You'd think it wasn't possible for Charlie to go further south than he already had after the divorce, but I'd recently come to understand that he was capable of going much further. Arriving for dinner was now a rare occasion, and him arriving sober was even more of a rarity. He'd always stumble in, completely unaware of his surroundings, and fumble with his gun holster. Most of the time he barely had enough energy to take his boots off before dragging himself into the TV room and passing out on the couch. I forgave him every time, though, because the old man was heartbroken and I wasn't going to tear him apart even more. He had his way of stitching himself back together, and I had mine; his methods were just a little more contentious.

It's Wednesday now. It's been five days since the accident. Five whole days. Had I really made it this far?

I couldn't bring myself to believe that I was making it through each day without Jackson. It seemed unreal somehow, but then, as I sat by the kitchen table, digging my fingers into a fresh bread mix, it hit me that I was circling dangerous waters, so I quickly switched my trail of thought. I had become quite accomplished at repressing the unwanted, and it was at times like these that I appreciated that newly developed skill the most. I quickly got up from my seat and glanced at the clock on the wall. _11:30_. _Charlie will be home soon_, I thought to myself, and as if by clockwork, the cruiser's headlights set the kitchen ablaze and I heard Charlie pull up in the drive way. Suddenly I was panicking.

I heard Charlie slur something before he entered the kitchen, and in a desperate attempt to busy myself so I wouldn't have to face him, I picked up one of the dirty plates and started scrubbing it with a sponge. I glanced briefly over my shoulder to find Charlie taking a seat at the dinner table. I cringed at the sound of the chair screeching against the hardwood floor and, figuring he was in the mood for dinner, walked over to the fridge and pulled out the plate of food I'd prepared for him. In a very casual gesture I flung the plate onto the table and handed him a fork and a knife.

Walking over to the sink I heard a faint cough behind me, so I turned around with deliberate hesitation. Behind the drunken mask, he seemed upset, so I gave him a compassionate smile. He beckoned me to sit down, pointing a chubby index finger at the chair opposite his, so I did. It took him a while to speak, and I waited patiently.

"Bella," he began, but his words seemed to be lodged in his throat. I wanted to share words of encouragement but I knew it wouldn't do any good. I remained silent. "Bells…"

Normally the use of that nickname would've goaded me, but this time it just reminded me of how happy we'd been in Phoenix. Charlie was the only one who could call me Bells and get away with it. He hadn't called me that in weeks. Months.

"Dad?"

He looked up as I spoke, seemingly surprised by the sound of my voice. He looked back down at his plate and unwrapped the plastic sheet I'd covered the plate with as I folded my arms across the table and laid my head to rest. He cleared his throat again.

"Rene called the office today."

The sound of her name brought forth an anger that I was barely able to contain. I balled my hands into fists, letting my nails dig into the palm of my hand, the stinging sensation overpowering the emotional strain. "Ok."

"She and Phil are still on their honeymoon," he said, his voice quivering slightly as he spoke the name of the man who'd stolen his happiness. "Somewhere in Thailand."

He seemed to have suddenly sobered up, because the slur was gone and his eyes seemed more aware as I glanced up to meet them. I didn't really know where all this was coming from or what relevance it had to us, but I still listened, because this was the first time we'd talked in days and I was suddenly realizing how much I'd missed his voice. I nodded faintly, urging him to continue.

"They won't be coming home for a few of weeks."

"Are you kidding?" I burst out before I could help myself, my voice much more high-pitched than I'd intended. "She's gonna stay?"

"Bells…"

"No! She can't do that! Does she not have a single compassionate bone in her body? What about Jackson?"

At the mention of his name Charlie jerked a little in his seat, clearly uncomfortable. "She said we could have it…afterwards."

I instantly knew what he was getting at. "Afterwards?" I was filled up to the brim with rage. Although I wasn't remotely surprised – it was just like Rene to forget what was actually important. "Can't we just do it without her?"

"She's his mother, Bells," Charlie mumbled, poking his lasagna with his fork. "She deserves to be there."

"He deserves to have a mother who cares, Charlie," I said, purposefully placing emphasis on his name in a desperate effort to make him understand. Rene couldn't do this to us, to Jackson. She couldn't have her way, not this time.

But Charlie didn't understand, he just continued to poke his food, and it made me even more frustrated. I tried to stare him down but he avoided my stare until, finally, I gave up, rising from my seat and walking over to the undone dishes. The conversation was over, and as soon as Charlie realized that he got up from his seat and walked out of the kitchen, leaving me alone. Like I always was nowadays.

I heard a soft knock behind me; Charlie was leaning in the doorway, drumming his fingers against the wooden panel. I sighed at the sight, turning my attention back to the dishes.

"There won't be a funeral," he said simply. The words stung, and I could feel my chest start to cramp. "We'll go back to Phoenix for the memorial service when your mother gets back."

I tried to object but he wouldn't let me.

"There's nobody to blame for this, Bells, so don't you go putting this on your mother."

**

* * *

EDWARD**

* * *

Jackson?_ Who the fuck is Jackson?_

"He died?" Alice asked, her voice soft with curiosity. "Bella's brother?" _Oh._

Esme nodded delicately as she looked down at her hands which lay folded on her knees. I gave her a sideway glance before heaving a deep sigh and leaning back heavily in my seat. Esme and Carlisle had sat us down a bare 20 minutes ago, eyes solemn and glazed with tears, and told us about the death of Bella's brother.

I had tried desperately to pick my brains for answers when it came to Bella's abrupt absence from school, but this was one alternative that I hadn't even considered. I didn't even know she had a brother. _Fuck that now_, I thought to myself. I obviously hadn't been paying attention when Alice had first mentioned him, because when she noticed my blank expression at the mention of him, she gave me an extremely stern look.

"It's her brother," she whispered, punching me lightly on the arm.

"Whose?"

"Bella's, you idiot," she said firmly. "Have you not been paying attention to me at all?"

It hit Esme the worst and I could tell she'd been holding it in for a while; I'd had my fair share of experience with repressed emotions, and it was obvious that she had let this grow and mature until it had become too much for her to deal with alone. That's why we were all here now, assembled around the coffee table in the sitting room, none of us knowing exactly how to handle it. At least I didn't. Alice, however, seemed to want answers.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Alice asked with an anxious yet disapproving look in her eyes. "When did it happen?"

"I'm telling you now. Last Friday," Esme said timidly. Carlisle, who had been standing quietly by the south wall, walked over and positioned himself next to Esme, placing a comforting hand on her frail shoulder. "It wasn't my place, Alice. Let's just not talk about it."

Alice ignored Esme's beg to let the subject slide. "How?"

"Alice," Esme pleaded, running her dainty hands through her thick auburn hair in exhaustion.

"Animal attack," Carlisle explained.

_Animal attack?_

"What kind of animal attack?" I asked before I could restrain myself. Carlisle gave me a peculiar stare, probably surprised by the genuine interest he'd detected in my tone, before he responded.

"I've never seen a body so torn up," he muttered, glancing down at Esme as she raised her eyes to meet his, stroking his hand on her shoulder with her own. "They brought him in, but there was nothing I could do. There was just – the beast must've…" His voiced trailed off as he sought for the words to describe the boy's body.

Alice shivered in her seat. "Yickes," she mumbled, running her fingers through her straight fringe nervously. "How's Bella?"

"Poor child," Esme whispered.

"I haven't seen her," Carlisle answered. "Charlie didn't bring her to the hospital. I guess she was at school…when it happened."

I felt a sudden stab of guilt, angry at myself for not having understood immediately what had happened to her. I should've known. I was no stranger to this. "She was," I offered.

I stayed seated for a while, drumming my fingers impatiently as I waited, but then I couldn't do it anymore. _Fuck this_, I thought. I just couldn't listen to it; the mere mention of the torn up body had set my mind ablaze and I couldn't hold back the flashes. I had to get out of the house, so I stood up and left without a word or glance at the others. I could see Alice get up behind me but didn't wait; the cramped atmosphere of the Cullen household made me feel claustrophobic.

The moment I stepped out I could feel the evening breeze on my skin and the cool winter air rush into my lungs. I didn't need the air, but it felt soothing nonetheless as I made my way into the bordering forest. Limitless stamina was one of the many benefits of my kind, and I felt a sudden appreciation for it as I ran through the forest. I could feel the branches lashing against my skin, and even though it hurt, I didn't flinch. I'd take the physical pain over the emotional any day.

I ran for much longer than I had intended, because soon enough I saw a faint light pierce through the thick forest and the vague outline of what seemed to be a house. I gradually slowed my pace until I was almost jogging, finally coming to a halt by the edge of the forest. I was standing in somebody's backyard, feeling a slight sense of recognition which I quickly shook off. The lights were on inside, and I thought I could see a shadow moving behind the curtains of a dimly lit room. The light drew me closer. I crouched down slightly and took a few steps forward until I was standing behind a solitary tree in the garden. The flashing lights from the next room told me the TV was on, so I assumed the room with the soft glow was the kitchen. I leaned in closer, squinting as I tried to make out who was inside, when suddenly the curtains were pulled opened and I found myself staring into the eyes of a girl I knew all too well.

_Bella. _

A look of genuine terror instantly rearranged her features before she shifted her gaze to the side. The soft lights suddenly blared into a full-blown glare and she turned to face me again, this time narrowing her eyes as if attempting to see through the darkness. I'd already jumped back a few steps and was now back at my original position at the edge of the forest, pressing myself against the tree in an effort to remain unseen. It seemed to work, because Bella heaved a sigh before brushing a stray strand of brown hair behind her ear and turning herself around.

_Fuck, that was close_.

I relaxed my posture and leaned my head back, letting the air out of my lungs in a deep groan. I closed my eyes and listened to the calming rhythmic beat of her heart. I glimpsed back at the window and saw Bella wearing bright yellow gloves, holding a plate and a plastic brush. She seemed to be drawing quick breaths. I felt a little bit guilty as I realized it was all on my account.

She looked sad, and it took several moments for the underlying reason to strike. _Her brother's dead_, I reminded myself. Had I really lost such an extent of humanity that I actually had to consider the options? Of course her heart was a mess; she _was_ human after all and they didn't have the strength to deal with this kind of heartache. I ran my hand over my chest, thinking of the heart lying still in my chest. I tapped it gently, hearing the hollow sound of the empty chamber. I looked up at Bella and felt thankful; I'd rather have a non-beating heart and a hollow chest than have to endure the piercing needle of grief that was poking holes in hers.

-

I had been sitting on the forest floor, back against the rough tree, for the best part of an hour when I heard her scream. I was harshly pulled from my dream-like state when the sharp cry tore through the silence, an eerie feeling spreading through my bones that something might be wrong. I jumped up and positioned myself in a crouch, piercing the surroundings with my gaze, scanning for danger, and then loosened my posture when I realized there was none.

Instead I looked up at the house. All the lights on the bottom floor were now switched off, the rooms swallowed up by the darkness, yet I was sure that that was where the cry had come from. A lonely light was shining in one of the second floor windows and a sudden burst of curiosity pulled me towards it. The neighboring house had a balcony which I swiftly flung myself on to after having climbed the wooden fixture of a tomato plantation. The curtains hadn't been drawn in the dimly lit room, so I could clearly make out Bella's shape, lying on her bed. It was strange though, because she was still fully dressed and not under the covers. She seemed to be grasping something in her right hand. As I listened closer the sound of a familiar song decorated the silence. _The Blowman's Daughter_. Damien Rice. A song that could make even my stone cold heart sting.

But she wasn't still. Her eyes were twitching and her head shook from side to side. Her arms and legs were sprawled all over the bed, messing up the covers, and her hair looked like a haystack. Her breathing was uneven too and her heart was beating at a furious pace. _Nightmare_, I figured.

I felt a sudden desire to save her. An innocent girl like her didn't deserve to experience the wrath of grief, and in that moment I felt like there was nothing I wouldn't do to spare her from it. But I wasn't stupid, and I knew very well that there was nothing I could do for her. I always caused more harm than good, I knew that, and this was something she had to dig her way out of alone. Either the grief would tear her to pieces in the process, or she'd come out stronger on the other side. She was going to have to make that journey alone.

"Don't hurt him…"

She was mumbling in her sleep, but even so I could understand her perfectly.

"He's just…I can't…we…"

She was breathing even faster now and suddenly, without any sign of warning, she sprung to a sitting position, grabbed the covers in a firm hold and belted out a loud thundering yell.

"RUN!"

And then she was still.

-

I had to run home to make it in time for Alice's departure for school. She questioned my disheveled look briefly with a raised eyebrow as I got in the passenger seat, hair in disarray and still wearing the same clothes from the previous night.

"Have a long night?" she said, a full-on smirk on display. "You didn't come home last night."

"Does it matter?" I mumbled, hoping to cut the conversation short.

"Well," she began, putting the key in the ignition and revving the engine until it was purring softly, "you just walked out and didn't come back. That's not exactly normal behavior now, is it? What did you do?"

"Fuck if you care," I snapped, pulling my hood up and tugging at the sleeves of my jumper. Apparently my callous performance had done its intended job, because Alice let out a small huff as she turned her attention back to reversing out of her parking spot in silence. _Fine by me_, I thought to myself as I shifted my attention to the blur of green passing by outside my window.

Streams of sunlight were beaming through the scattered clouds that decorated the blue morning sky, a sight which would've brought joy to anybody but me. It seemed the good weather of yesterday afternoon had carried over and I realized I'd have to spend most of this sunny Thursday in hiding. Not that I minded; hiding was something I'd become very good at. _Practice makes perfect, right?_

I'd stayed on the balcony until dawn broke. The soft but painful prickling I felt as the sun's rays licked my skin served as a reminder that I didn't belong there or anywhere near her, so I stayed just long enough to see her awaken slowly from the sunlight before setting off into the comforts of the dark forest. As I ran I wondered if I'd be sitting alone at my desk in biology again, but having seen her alive made me hope I wouldn't be. Before I could finish the thought, I cut it short. False hope was destructive, and something I would never allow myself to feel, even in such a seemingly insignificant circumstance as this one.

Even so, I still couldn't help my lips from curling up in a crooked smile when I heard her music. The soft plucking of Elliot Smith's guitar ornamented the crisp morning draft, and even though the notes arranged themselves in an extremely depressing symphony, the sound brightened my mood significantly. Just knowing she was alive was enough to melt my cold demeanor. My mood flipped completely, however, when I actually saw her. She was dragging her feet through the parking lot, dark circles under her eyes, much like those I had permanently stamped under mine, and her skin was much paler than usual.

_Not much sleep_, I figured, pulling my hood down so it completely covered my eyes and shielded my face from the offensive rays of the morning sun. As Alice pulled in to her usual parking spot, the customary herd of Forks High students crawled around the parking lot like cockroaches, and I groaned in frustration. I wondered if they knew. I finally got out, my mind in a distracted frenzy as I swung my bag over my shoulder, and started making my way toward the campus. I had my eyes firmly fixed on my feet, so when I suddenly found myself in the midst of a collision, my head snapped up and I could feel the sun slowly scrubbing against my cheekbone.

"Sorry," Bella mumbled as she bent down to pick up her books. I fumbled with my words, unsure what to say, because all I could think about was her screaming.

_Run!_

Her voice penetrated through every other thought, making it impossible for me to think straight. "Could you hand me that?"

I refocused and blinked a few times before bending down to pick up the biology textbook that lay sprawled across my boots. My focus was slowly starting to wear down and I could feel my lack of a steady diet start to take its toll on me. I brushed the cover of the book clean before I handed it to her. I briefly considered asking how she was, figuring it would be the right thing to do, but quickly shook the thought when I noticed the sour tint in her eyes. She clearly wasn't in the mood for casual conversation.

"Bella?"

I turned around to find Jasper standing by his truck. He didn't look happy. Our gazes met momentarily before I quickly diverted mine to the ground again. When I heard him approach I shifted uncomfortably on my feet; truth be told I wanted nothing more than to just knock him to the ground. A quick glance at Bella's wounded demeanor encouraged me to resist the urge.

"Yeah?" Bella said impatiently, shielding her eyes from the sun with her right hand. When he reached her he pulled her into an almost too tight hug and my lips automatically tightened and I balled my hands into fists; seeing him hold her clouded my mind with vicious thoughts and for a split second my vision sharpened. I could already taste the blood.

"How are you, Bee?" he asked as he pulled away, cupping her cheek in his hand, stroking it with his rough-skinned thumb. The sound made me cringe – I didn't want him tainting her soft skin like that. She fixed her eyes on the floor and grabbed his hand by the wrist, pulling it down from her face and placing it back by his side. The atmosphere became awkward and muffled.

"I'm ok, Jazz," she mumbled. The smile on her lips seemed cold and unnatural. "Really. Don't worry about me."

"Bella –"

"Stop it," she interrupted, her face blank with indifference.

I suddenly felt out of place. There I was, standing next to two best friends, my fists curled up and lips thin from the frustration; I couldn't possibly have felt more alienated. It didn't exactly help that Jasper was glaring daggers at me either, so I cleared my throat, uttered a faint bye and continued to walk, accidentally brushing my shoulder against hers as I pushed past.

As I marched, all I could hear was her heart in hysterics.

**

* * *

A/N : ****Reviews are candy, darlings :)**


End file.
